Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
