It's Friday. Sex?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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