Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
