WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
