somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if only i could text you this smell
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm always down for nudity.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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