I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
