I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
