Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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