But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Randomize
