Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
