Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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