2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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