For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
