I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
not ubering you a puppy
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