I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
