YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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