You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
