When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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