i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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