I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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