i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
now i know why i became what i already was.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i now understand why vodka
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
