that's an acceptable place to lick
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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