so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
