he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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