I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
