You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We are all done wearing pants today
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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