what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
