I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We have started to decorate penises.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize