Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
