My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is Oprah even human
Dick very happy bro
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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