She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
