I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
