They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize