I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
