We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
