dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
