remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
