I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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