i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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