Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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