Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
