Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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