Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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