this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
