idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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