so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
bring money and cleavage
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
