You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
