Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
