Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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