is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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