Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
