i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
