I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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