I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
