and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
