if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
