dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
