Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
