we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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