I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
