did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
