I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
